- Martin X. Edley: [open's hotel room door] Well, Angel Face, come into my parlor.
- Bunny Smith: Yes, Mr Spider.
- [first lines]
- Randy Morton: Yes. That's the Waldorf Astoria. Big place, isn't it? But, it's home to me, because I happen to live there.
- Captain James Hollis: You mean you'll play it?
- Xavier Cugat, Orchestra Leader: The Starlight Roof, tomorrow night.
- Captain James Hollis: Tomorrow night?
- Xavier Cugat, Orchestra Leader: I suppose you want me to play it tonight? One has to rehearse a new number! You got to argue with your musicians. Bomb them! Pummel them! Scream at them. Flatter them! Curse them! Praise them. Beat them! And you think that you put on a number just like that? And singers? Did you see the girl who just left here?
- Captain James Hollis: Oh, yes.
- Xavier Cugat, Orchestra Leader: I fired her! Then I'm gonna take her back. Then she'll resign, I'll accept, she'll refuse. she'll come back, she'll go! No, I can't play it tonight.
- Captain James Hollis: What?
- Xavier Cugat, Orchestra Leader: Tomorrow night.
- Irene Malvern: You're not very clever, now.
- Chip Collyer: No. I-I, I have my off moments and this is one.
- Chip Collyer: The fact is, for ten years, I've been looking for you and not even knowing it. And when I saw you, well I, had to stay.
- Irene Malvern: I think you better go - and get your hotcakes.
- Chip Collyer: Think, woman. Think. I'm in the market for a wife. I told you that. You won't have me. You ought to know a good second choice. Someone, eh, oh, not as attractive as you are, but, fairly attractive; not as warm hearted, but, fairly warm hearted; not as, not as exciting, but, fairly exciting. Think.
- Irene Malvern: Well, I don't know many women, except actresses.
- Chip Collyer: Nice thing about picture actresses, though, you can look them over on the screen before you meet 'em. Who did you have in mind?
- Irene Malvern: Well, I have one or two stand-ins.
- Chip Collyer: No. No substitutes won't do. It's, eh, it's you or nobody. I can't have you so, well, it was just a crazy notion anyhow. Sort of a weekend mirage.
- Mrs. H. Davenport Drew: Think? What's there to think about on your wedding day? Time enough afterward.
- Cynthia Drew: Afterwards may be too late.
- Martin X. Edley: [on the phone] Hello. Let me have the public stenographer's office, please. Hello, this Martin Edley, 39E, I want a secretary. Well, send up the little blonde that was here yesterday: Bunny something or other.
- Hi Johns: That a boy, Chip. I want you fresh and rested and rarin' to go.
- Chip Collyer: Yeah, I know. Rarin' to go, back there. Hi, have you ever seen men die - slowly?
- Hi Johns: Now, wait a minute.
- Chip Collyer: Well, I have - wholesale. Spain. London. France. Germany. It ain't pretty.
- Irene Malvern: He's not a tramp. He's wonderful. He's handsome. He's wise, strong, steady. He's witty. He's charming. He's...
- Henry Burton: Say, who is this guy?
- Irene Malvern: He's as real as everything else in my life. He just doesn't exist.
- Henry Burton: Did you call in a doctor? Good! He'll give you some vitamin B and you'll be a different woman.
- Irene Malvern: You really should examine him, Bobby. You'll probably find he's made of celluloid - just like me.
- Xavier Cugat, Orchestra Leader: Oh, music. Sure, I have music! I have it by the pound, by the ton, by the inch, by the yard, by the mile. What kind of music? I have tangoes, boleros. sambas, congas, waltzes, fox trots, concertos, cantatas, overtures.
- Oliver Webson: The boss says this is a very bad thing for the country. See, because, this contract starts after the war. The boss has got an idea, with all this Nazi and Jap money, that - well, I haven't got it quite straight, but, anyway, the boss says its a bad thing for the country.
- Chip Collyer: Well, well, Irene Malvern. It's a long way from Italy! You know, you gave a swell performance for me, one night at Sovana, me and 5,000 GIs. The film broke a couple of times, but, it was swell. You'll never know what you did to me that night.
- Irene Malvern: Let me assure you that there's a detective standing outside that door.
- Chip Collyer: Perry Mason, Peter Wimsey or Sherlock Holmes?
- Irene Malvern: So, you're a sensation seeker. Is that it?
- Chip Collyer: That's it! If I weren't a jewel thief, would I be sitting here with one of the loveliest woman in America? Watching her green-flecked eyes change from fear to scorn to anger to pity. Oh, yes, I saw some pity in those eyes. And, while we're on the subject, if you don't mind my saying so, that's the nicest hank of hair I've seen in many a lonesome month. And, the nose. It isn't bad, either. But, you know what gets me? The voice. There's music in it.
- Bunny Smith: Listen to this one, "Fourteen rooms. Five baths. Solarium. Terrace. One of New York's most exclusive Park Avenue residences. $14,000 annually."
- Kate Douglas: What? No bowling alley?
- Bunny Smith: Nope.
- Captain James Hollis: I wonder if you could tell me where I - could find a - Notary Public?
- Bunny Smith: Well, I'm one.
- Captain James Hollis: You are? Why, I thought you'd be sort of, sort of an oldish gentlemen, with glasses and false teeth that click and a black string tie.
- Bunny Smith: He forecloses mortgages. A Notary Public can be either male or female. Over 21. You must be bonded. Must have stamp and stamp pad. Mustn't let the license run out.
- Captain James Hollis: Bunny?
- Bunny Smith: It's a silly name isn't it? I was christened - Bernardine. But, I never could pronounce the darn thing. Still can't. When I was a kid they'd always ask, "And what is your name?" And I would say, "My name is Bunny."
- Captain James Hollis: [laughs] Do that again.
- Captain James Hollis: You're pretty business-like, aren't you?
- Bunny Smith: Well, you have to be in my business or it'll break your heart.
- Bunny Smith: I was born in New York on Tenth Avenue. We call it Double Fifth.
- Captain James Hollis: I don't think I know that street.
- Bunny Smith: Well, you haven't missed anything. It's no Park Avenue. Mama always said we'd move someday, but, we didn't.
- Captain James Hollis: You-you like Park Avenue?
- Bunny Smith: Well, I like what it means.
- Captain James Hollis: What does it mean?
- Bunny Smith: That I'm on my way.
- Captain James Hollis: Well, where are you headin' for?
- Bunny Smith: As far away from Double Fifth as I can get.
- Chip Collyer: You're a pretty lonely soul, aren't you?
- Irene Malvern: What makes you say that?
- Chip Collyer: And frightened too.
- Irene Malvern: Of you?
- Chip Collyer: Oh, no, not of me - of life.
- Irene Malvern: I'm not afraid of anything or anybody.
- Chip Collyer: I am. Most people with any sense are at one time or another.
- Chip Collyer: What is it you're after anyway? You've got looks, success, a dizzy amount of it, from what I can make out. A hundred million women would trample each other to pieces to change places with you. And, yet, coming back to your eyes, which incidentally fascinate me, there's something missing?
- Irene Malvern: I'm very happy. What's more, we're not here to discuss me.
- Chip Collyer: Oh, sorry.
- Irene Malvern: I realize that's a subtle form of flattery, but, I assure you, I'm on to it.
- Chip Collyer: Can't get around you, can I, huh?
- Irene Malvern: Not very easily.
- Irene Malvern: What are you going to tell them, uh, the Syndicate, if I should let you go?
- Chip Collyer: That I couldn't pull the job. Met my intended uh, victim. She was beautiful, she was warm, she was gentle and sincere. I still had a little spark of decency left, so, I returned the necklace.
- Irene Malvern: What necklace?
- Chip Collyer: The uh, the Grand Duke's.
- Irene Malvern: "Grand Hotel"! Why that's straight out of the picture, "Grand Hotel!"
- Chip Collyer: That's right! I am the Baron, you are the ballerina, and we're off to see the wizard.
- Switchboard Operator #1: Good morning, Waldorf Astoria.
- Switchboard Operator #2: It's 8:55.
- Switchboard Operator #3: Waldorf Astoria, Tower's Entrance? Yes, ma'am.
- Switchboard Operator #2: Room Service? Just a moment please.
- Irene Malvern: I'm really not angry about last night.
- Chip Collyer: No?
- Irene Malvern: In a way, I suppose, I'm to blame.
- Martin X. Edley: I'm going to transfer my headquarters to New York. I'm going to get myself a swell apartment.
- Bunny Smith: You are?
- Martin X. Edley: Of course, I won't be here all the time. I just come and go, you understand. Now, Bunny, I need someone in town to take care of my private affairs. You know, entertain my friends and business acquaintances. Somebody easy to look at. Smart, like you. You know what I mean?
- Bunny Smith: Yes and no.
- Martin X. Edley: Like a confidential secretary.
- Martin X. Edley: The Bey, I mean, His Highness, is entertaining me on the Roof tonight. And, he's quite a fellow. He's got diamonds that big. And he said to me, his fellow translated, bring that very pretty little girl along - that takes dictation.
- Martin X. Edley: I'm a businessman. I made you an offer and you turned it down.
- Bunny Smith: I didn't turn it down. I just can't make it - tonight.
- Martin X. Edley: You start tonight or you don't start at all. Now, what do you say?
- Captain James Hollis: If we were in Jasmine now, I'd make you the best barbecue dinner you ever ate. And we'd eat out under the stars, big, big chunky stars. Not like these. It gets pretty hot back there in the Summer and folks in Jasmine generally do their cooking outdoors. Kitchens get so hot.
- Bunny Smith: No hotter than the kitchens in Double Fifth. Only when it gets too hot, we go to the delicatessen, get some hot dogs and potato salad and coke. Then the cops open the hydrants and kids splash around. The radios go all night. The firemen sit outside the firehouse in their undershirts.
- Henry Burton: Look, honey, now that we've got a hit, don't you think we ought to have a little celebration? Come on over to "21". The whole gang's there.
- Irene Malvern: No.
- Sam Skelly: Oh, come on!
- Irene Malvern: You two go ahead. I'm tired. I'm going to take the war paint off and go to bed.
- Henry Burton: Well, maybe you're right. Good night, Irene.
- Irene Malvern: I'd really like to know what goes on in that mighty brain of yours.
- Chip Collyer: Ah, sweet mystery of life.
- Irene Malvern: What would lead a man to take a lady's key, tell the clerk that he's her husband and, then, plop himself down in her living room? I'm just curious.
- Chip Collyer: Imagine two people like us - getting together. Ridiculous, isn't it.
- Irene Malvern: Ridiculous.
- Chip Collyer: Oil and water don't mix.
- Irene Malvern: Oil and - water don't mix.
- Chip Collyer: The law of Physics.
- Irene Malvern: The law of Physics.
- Chip Collyer: Common sense.
- Irene Malvern: Common sense.
- Chip Collyer: East is East.
- Irene Malvern: West is West.
- Chip Collyer: Simple arithmetic it - doesn't add up.
- Irene Malvern: It doesn't - add up.
- [kiss]
- [last lines]
- Randy Morton: The Baron got his necklace after all. Which only goes to prove, as I often say in my column, anything can happen in a weekend at the Waldorf.
- Chip Collyer: Shades of peace and prosperity! If it isn't my old friend, Martin X. Edley.
- Martin X. Edley: Chip Collyer! What are you doing back in New York?
- Chip Collyer: How was life in the penitentiary?
- Martin X. Edley: You wrote a lot of lies about me. You know very well I was acquitted.
- Chip Collyer: Yeah, that's because I went off to war.
- Chip Collyer: Pretty nice foxhole, Hi.
- Hi Johns: Yep. Eat, sleep, read and relax. That's all you have until Monday, and the paper pays for the works.
- Chip Collyer: Yeah, well sleep is all I want. Just sleep.
- Chip Collyer: Hello, Emile. I haven't seen you since you put me to bed at the, uh, publisher's convention.
- Emile: That's right. Feb. 15, 1939. Welcome back to America, Mr. Collyer.
- Chip Collyer: [Flips a coin] Heads, I take my clothes off; tails, I sleep as is. Tails.
- [He spreads out on a big sofa]
- Hi Johns: You want me to put a "Do Not Disturb" sign?
- Chip Collyer: No, I'll take care of that myself. I, uh, carry my own.
- [He sticks a long drop-down list on his door that reads "Do Not Disturb" in several languages]
- Dr. Robert Campbell: You've just got to go to the wedding. You're the only glamour I know. I can just hear Cynthia's mother. "My son-in-law, Dr. Campbell, is a very close friend of Irene Malvern. As a matter of fact, she came to the wedding. And she tells me she cries real tears. Doesn't use glycerin.
- Irene Malvern: Never touch the filthy stuff. All right, I'll come.
- Oliver Webson: Say, could I have a drink? I've had a tough day.
- Chip Collyer: You sure it won't dull the keen edge of that razor-like mind of yours?
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Top Gap
By what name was Week-End at the Waldorf (1945) officially released in India in English?
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