Jim Broadbent: Andy

Life Is Sweet

Andy

Wendy: Get in that toilet and do a wee. Blimey, look. This is the seat. I don't want me carpet all soaking wet. And close the door! You've got two daughters! What's a matter with ya?
Andy: That's what's a matter with me. I've got two daughters

Patsy: [in a pub after a few beers] Far as I'm concerned, football died, the day Arsenal won the double.
Andy: That's right, yeah.
Patsy: What was they? Work horses.
Andy: Boring buggers, ain't they.
Patsy: Well the Spurs double team? They was artists.
Andy: They was artists.
Patsy: 21 quid a week they got. Can you imagine? What do they get today? Millions.
Andy: And they got their back handers on top of that ain't they.
Patsy: Poncing round the penalty area with their handbags.
Andy: Prima donnas.
Patsy: "Oh, he kicked a me, Ref."
Andy: Brown, Baker, Henry,
[both]
Andy: Blanchflower
Patsy: Yeah, Danny boy.
Andy: Yeah.
Patsy: He was the architect of the modern game, y'know.
Andy: That's right, yeah.
Patsy: Norman, Mackay, Jones, White, Smith, Allen,
[both]
Patsy: Dyson.
Andy: Yeah, come on you Spurs.
Patsy: John White, what a player, eh.
Andy: Yeah.
Patsy: I used to have a little picture of him on my wall, ringed in black.
Patsy: Tragic. What a way to go.
Andy: Struck by lightening.
Patsy: On a golf course.
Andy: What a waste, eh. You want another?

Andy: Tell you, you want to watch out for Aubrey in that kitchen. He'll come up behind you with a cucumber.
Wendy: [laughs] Listen, I don't think it'll be a cucumber he'll be coming up behind me with.

Nicola: I'm not going to waste my life.
Andy: No? What're you doing now then? Contributing a great deal aren't you sitting around on your arse all day.
Nicola: Yeah, well I'm thinking about it.
Andy: Oh yeah thinking about it that's the easy bit isn't it? Anyone can do that. It's doing it that's difficult.

Patsy: Sorry to bother you on a Sunday like but, eh, I was wondering if Andy was in?
Andy: Yeah.
Patsy: Only I was hoping to catch him down in the boozer like but I got a bit held up.

Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: To be totally honest, Andy, I think Wendy will be a natural, y'know. She's got such grace and charm.
Wendy: Thank you, Aubrey.
Andy: Excuse me are we talking about the same girl?
Wendy: [laughs] Don't be rotten.

Andy: Where's she going?
Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: Flipping Prague!
Wendy: Awww, that's not right.
Andy: No, that's not on, mate.
Wendy: No, sorry.
Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: It's great, isn't it? You give someone a break, a chance to better themselves, an opportunity to enter into a brave new venture, and what do they do? Piss off to Poland!
Wendy: Well, that's typical Aussie isn't it? Travelers.
Andy: Students.
Wendy: It's Czechoslovakia isn't it, Prague?
Andy: Yeah, is it?

Wendy: Now, listen, you're in trouble, right? And I'm helping you out. 'Cause that's what friends are for. That's right, isn't it Andy?
Aubrey, Regret Rien Owner: It's it's amazing!
Andy: But you haven't even done bar work Wendy, let's be honest.
Wendy: No, but I'm confident. I can have a go.
Andy: Let's face it, have you ever been a waitress?
Wendy: No.
Andy: No.
Wendy: But, I've been waiting on you all these years haven't I? So?