Josh Lucas credited as playing...
Craig McDermott
- Patrick Bateman: New card. What do you think?
- Craig McDermott: Whoa-ho. Very nice. Look at that.
- Patrick Bateman: Picked them up from the printer's yesterday.
- David Van Patten: Good coloring.
- Patrick Bateman: That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.
- David Van Patten: It's very cool, Bateman, but that's nothing. Look at this.
- Timothy Bryce: That is really nice.
- David Van Patten: Eggshell with Romalian type. What do you think?
- Patrick Bateman: Nice.
- Timothy Bryce: Jesus. That is really super. How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful?
- Patrick Bateman: [Thinking] I can't believe that Bryce prefers Van Patten's card to mine.
- Timothy Bryce: But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Raised lettering, pale nimbus. White.
- Patrick Bateman: Impressive. Very nice.
- David Van Patten: Hmm.
- Patrick Bateman: Let's see Paul Allen's card.
- Patrick Bateman: [Thinking] Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.
- Luis Carruthers: Is something wrong, Patrick? You're sweating.
- Patrick Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
- David Van Patten: Ed Gein? The maitre 'd at Canal Bar?
- Patrick Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin, the '50s.
- Craig McDermott: So what did he say?
- Patrick Bateman: "When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. One part wants me to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right."
- David Van Patten: And what did the other part think?
- Patrick Bateman: "What her head would look like on a stick... "
- [laughs]
- David Van Patten: They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in.
- Craig McDermott: Are you sure that's Paul Allen over there?
- Timothy Bryce: Yes. McDufus, I am.
- Craig McDermott: He's handling the Fisher account.
- Timothy Bryce: Lucky bastard.
- Craig McDermott: Lucky Jew bastard.
- Patrick Bateman: Jesus, McDermott, what does that have to do with anything?
- Craig McDermott: I've seen that bastard sitting in his office, talking on the phone to the CEOs, spinning a fucking menorah.
- Patrick Bateman: Not a menorah. You spin a dreidel.
- Craig McDermott: Oh, my God. Bateman, do you want me to fry you up some fucking potato pancakes? Some latkes?
- Patrick Bateman: No. Just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.
- Craig McDermott: Oh, I forgot. Bateman's dating someone from the ACLU.
- Timothy Bryce: The voice of reason... the boy next door.
- [looks at restaurant bill]
- Timothy Bryce: Speaking of reasonable, only $570...
- Timothy Bryce: God, I hate this place. It's a chick restaurant. Why aren't we at Dorsia?
- Craig McDermott: Because Bateman won't give the maitre d' head.
- [Bateman chuckles sarcastically and flicks a toothpick at McDermott]
- Craig McDermott: If they have a great personality and they're not great looking... then who fucking cares?
- Patrick Bateman: Well, let's just say hypotetically ok? What if they have a great personality?
- [pause, all laugh]
- Patrick Bateman: I know, I know.
- [all in unison]
- Patrick Bateman, Craig McDermott, David Van Patten: There are no girls with good personalities.
- David Van Patten: A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and who essentially will keep her dumb fucking mouth shut.
- Craig McDermott: The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though god knows what the fuck that means, are ugly chicks.
- David Van Patten: Absolutely.
- Craig McDermott: And this is because they have to make up for how fucking unnattractive they are.
- Timothy Bryce: He makes himself out to be a harmless old codger, but inside... inside...
- Patrick Bateman: [voice-over] ... "but inside" doesn't matter.
- Craig McDermott: "Inside," yes, "inside... " - believe it or not, Bryce, we're actually listening to you...
- Timothy Bryce: Come on, Bateman, what do you think?
- Patrick Bateman: Whatever.