Simon Rex credited as playing...
George
- George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.
- Tom: Oh. I better tell her.
- George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?
- Sue: Yes?
- George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?
- Sue: Yeah.
- George: She's dead!
- Sue: Aah!
- George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!
- Sue: My dog's dead?
- George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!
- George: You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here
- [puts hand up in the air]
- George: and start livin' down here?
- [puts hand down low]
- Mahalik: Or what if we stop livin' over here
- [puts his hand out to the side]
- Mahalik: and move over there?
- [puts his hand to the other side]
- CJ: Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though.
- Mahalik: For what?
- CJ: Mice.
- Mahalik: I thought she had rats?
- CJ: No, rats are outside, mice are inside.
- Mahalik: But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?
- CJ: I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'.
- Mahalik: That's because it's a rat, fool!
- CJ: Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha!
- George: Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything...
- [Cindy comes home after leaving George to watch Cody and finds George sleeping on the table]
- Cindy: Oh my God! What happened?
- George: I don't know... we were play this great game, then I looked down and...
- [He looks down at his dice]
- George: Yahtzee!
- [He stands up and bangs his head on the shelf, knocking himself out]
- George: Now everybody in the 202, throw your hands in the air 'cause Fat Joe is through / Now everybody in the 202, throw 'em up! Check it out / I'm a white boy, but my neck is red / I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread / My face is pale, nah, I've never been in jail / Me and Buffy spend every winter at Vail / How many bitches have I slapped? Zero. Unh! / And Martha Stewart happens to be my hero / I grew up on a farm and I was born with no rhythm / Dr. Phil's my uncle and I like to hang with him / I can't dance / I wear khaki pants / My middle name's Lance / My Grandma's from France / So maybe I'm wack / 'Cause my skin ain't black / But you can't talk smack / 'Cause whitey just struck back
- Alien #1: Wait please, we mean you no harm. We travel to your planet to find an evil little girl. We must destroy her before seven days.
- George: You mean... You watched the video tape?
- Alien #1: Our satellite caught up what we thought was Pootie Tang, that was a week ago. And now our entire race will die, unless the girl is destroyed.
- Tom: Aw, you see, they are peaceful.
- Mahalik: If they so peaceful, man, why were they choking us a few minutes ago?
- Alien #1: Oh... that's how we say hello.
- George: Well how do you guys say goodbye?
- [an alien kicks George in the groin]
- George: [in pain] I had to ask.
- Mahalik: [George is wearing a white hoodie that makes him resemble a KKK member] George, the hood! Lose the hood!
- George: I know, we're in the hood now!
- Brenda Meeks: He's a dead man.
- George: [as crowd boos] You guys feelin' me? In the hood?
- [does what looks like a Heil Hitler salute]
- George: So, I'll be doing the rap battle at the 23 Club tomorrow night.
- Brenda Meeks: Oh, I don't believe this shit.
- George: Word! You two should come down! I'll be rappin', I'll be cappin', I'll be tappin', I'll be flappin', I'll be happen... ing. Ding, bing, wing. Yo!
- Cindy: Sounds good!
- George: Would, could, should, 'hood.
- Brenda Meeks: Ugh!
- George: Gug, mug, dug, bug.
- Mahalik: [to the Aliens] So, if they're friendly, then how come they choke us a few minutes ago?
- Alien #1: Oh, that's how we say hello.
- George: Then how do you say good-bye?
- [the Alien kicks him in the crotch]
- George: Oooh... I had to ask...
- Alien #1: If you think that's unusual, then you should see how we pee.
- [he starts peeing out of his finger]
- President Harris: Oooooh, we are not so much different after all...
- [the President starts peeing out of his finger also]
- George: Why is there an open casket?
- Cindy: George it's a wake.
- George: She's alive, Sue your teacher is alive!
- Cindy: No George she's dead!
- George: No Brenda! Don't die on me!
- [starts doing CPR and mouth to mouth ressatession]
- George: [people starts attacking george]
- Mahalik: Hey get away from him broad!
- [starts punches while complete caous ensues]
- George: [takes two wires] clear!
- George: Family, that's just what I've been running away from
- President Harris: Well, that's because you're an idiot.