John Michael Higgins credited as playing...
Wayne Jarvis
- Michael: Are you serious?
- Wayne Jarvis: Almost always. I was once voted the worst audience participant Cirque Du Soleil ever had.
- Wayne Jarvis: I have a picture taken by a traffic camera of you escorting your father.
- [hands it to Michael]
- Barry Zuckerkorn: Are you sure these aren't balls? Because last time, they were balls.
- Barry Zuckerkorn: [Barry is handed the picture of Michael and George Sr. in the stair car] I really wish they were balls.
- Michael: My mother is opposed to the idea of hiring a new attorney. She'll probably refuse to enter the room if she sees you.
- Wayne Jarvis: I shall hide behind the couch.
- [and he does just that]
- Michael: Guy's a pro.
- Lucille: You idiots. If your father sees me here with Wayne...
- Michael: ...we'll be stuck with Barry.
- Wayne Jarvis: I shall hide behind that garbage car.
- [and does just that]
- Michael: Guy's a pro.
- Barry Zuckerkorn: Those are the pictures?
- Wayne Jarvis: They're all over the news.
- Barry Zuckerkorn: [scrutinizes] Those are balls.
- Wayne Jarvis: What?
- Narrator: Barry was right. Tobias had inadvertently photographed himself in the bathtub while trying to figure out his new cell phone.
- Michael: Why haven't you talked to my brother, the new President of the company?
- Wayne Jarvis: We did earlier. He claims to know nothing.
- Michael: Well, that's not an act. He twice tried to heat up a Ding-Dong in a microwave while it was still in its tinfoil.
- Wayne Jarvis: Twice?
- Michael: Two times.