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Gazing out upon the vast tapestry of Pajiban creeds and customs, I am certain that this time of year is feted is various ways. Whether you cherish Hannukah, Christmas, Ramadan, Yule, Kwanzaa, Decemberween or -- as my Jehovah's Witness friends call it -- Thursday, the holidays are about one thing: spending time with loved ones. This is usually accomplished in about 14 minutes. Then the rest of the time is spent caustically avoiding speaking to one another, drinking copious amounts of liquored nog, and remembering why you moved across the country and lost everyone's email address and phone numbers in the first place. Much of this awkwardness is spent sitting in some strange smelling house, a plate of half-eaten pie sitting in front of you, staring dully at a television while tuning out the mindless banter of distant aunts and uncles who are trying to figure out "why you aren't a...