Ed O'Neill credited as playing...
Al Bundy
- Peggy Bundy: Okay Al, I got your batteries.
- Al Bundy: Peg, these are A's, I needed D's.
- Peggy Bundy: A's, D's, what's the difference?
- Al Bundy: They're too small.
- Peggy Bundy: Then use a lot of them.
- Al Bundy: Better yet, I'll exchange them... for bullets!
- Al Bundy: Peg, do we really need Christmas icicles? It's May.
- Peggy Bundy: Well, you'll thank me in December.
- Al Bundy: Only if you leave me in November.
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, look Al, they're doing a "Full House" in 3-D.
- Al Bundy: Is the third dimension the funny one?
- Bundo: What is that gizmo?
- Evil Bank President: That's not a gizmo, it's a computer.
- Bundo: [Bundo draws his guns and shoots the computer six times] Now it's a gizmo. Now you take your prairie chicken hide an' cluck on outta here.
- Man: My wife and I put a penny in it every time we make love.
- [smiles]
- Man: We're like rabbits.
- Al: Good. On Easter I'll dip you both in chocolate and break your heads off.
- Al: [being locked in the store and facing the fact that Peg is running around the mall with credit cards] My wife is out there unsupervised with credit cards!