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Portrait of My Heart

Spellling Portrait of My Heart

7.1

  • Genre:

    Experimental

  • Label:

    Sacred Bones

  • Reviewed:

    April 2, 2025

The Bay Area musician’s new album is an elegant, stormy take on the nu-metal, pop-punk, and ’90s guitar superstars who soundtracked millennial angst.

From the sound of SPELLLING’s Portrait of My Heart, Chrystia Cabral’s heart is sugar, spice, and Chemical X. It’s angels on Angel Dust. It’s all the music you’re lucky if you got into as a younger millennial: nü-metalcore breakdowns, Pepper Ann pop-punk, mungy Cali funk metal, cheap-seat arena rock, and orchestral goth grandeur, with a fugitive whiff of Goapele’s East Bay classic “Closer” perfuming the air. Tracey Thorn once theorized that the heart remains a child. Here’s a record that kicks and screams to prove it.

Cabral describes Portrait of My Heart as an album about “love, intimacy, anxiety and alienation,” and the 33-year-old Bay Area artist paints these emotions as so powerful that the natural world cracks and bends to their will. Love is like a flood, loss is like a hole opening in the sky. “It’s unreal, what the heart can hold,” she sings on “Waterfall.” It’s easy to detect a narrative of a breakup followed by tentative new love as kiss-offs like “Alibi” lead into the new dawn of “Destiny Arrives” and “Mount Analogue,” but Cabral hasn’t been specific about the personal circumstances at play. What matters is that you can project the weathers of your own heart onto her music—that one of the songs on Portrait might mean as much to you as much as “You Oughta Know” might’ve meant to the generation before Cabral’s or “Good 4 U” to the generation immediately after.

These romantic-outsider yarns fit nicely with Cabral’s persona as a modern-day mystic, drunk on her own strangeness. When she sings “I don’t belong here” on the title track, we can read it as a literal expression of alienation, as a reference to one of the great angst anthems, and as a complement to the gleeful eccentricity that animates her music. We might read it on another level, too: Cabral is a Black artist of Mexican descent, and she’s spoken of dealing with her feelings of otherness as a kid by “growing my outsider-ness as a superpower.” Like all the great glam icons (Bowie, Prince, Gaga, Grace Jones), Cabral doesn’t revel in kookiness for the hell of it but to demonstrate how to take control of one’s own narrative.

Portrait of My Heart brings in outside producers for the first time, including Rob Bisel, who’s worked with SZA, and Psymun, who’s worked with Yves Tumor. These earlier credits are relevant, the former as the kind of acerbic singer-songwriter superstar who thrived in the Morissettian mid-1990s, the latter as a denizen of the noise underground who breached the upper echelons of indie acclaim without losing their mystique. The hooks on “Alibi” and “Keep It Alive” hit with scream-along jollity, even if Cabral’s punk turn means we get less of the fairytale quality that made her earlier work bewitching—and even if the drums sound curiously flimsy at times, crushed underfoot by the guitar onslaught.

Portrait of My Heart ends with Cabral’s most explicit nod towards the universe of ’90s guitar music: a cover of “Sometimes,” the churning centerpiece of My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless and a song so canonized in indie rock culture that you might as well take a stab at “Yesterday.” It’s hard to cast off the song’s decades of baggage, but Cabral gets as close as anyone since Boris by approaching it as a power ballad that just needed to be scrubbed of a little grime to reach the cheap seats. While Boris’ version played up the impenetrability of Kevin Shields’ amp squall, the way Cabral treats “Sometimes” as a song instead of a recording reveals her priorities for the music on Portrait of My Heart: immediacy rather than suggestion, tight takes rather than the endless experimentation with which MBV tormented their bankrollers at Creation.

Portrait of My Heart feels of a time when a rock band could make a folly as expensive as Loveless, when the industry was snatching up anyone halfway weird and you ended up with major-label releases by Ween and the Melvins. Generation Alpha has no shortage of fascinating music into which they can funnel their angst, but Portrait of My Heart is prone to conjuring fantasies of a world where rock still held primary cultural influence, if only because it seems so perfectly designed to be discovered by disaffected youth. This album will have done its job if some kid somewhere sings “Portrait of My Heart” in the mirror, mouthing the words “I don’t belong here!” with a defiance they never thought those words could contain.

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SPELLLING: Portrait of My Heart