Before the Blue Devils vie for their sixth national championship, take a walk through their already historic season. See where this all started.
Surprise! Its April Fools’ Day, which can only mean one thing — The Chronicle's evil, satirical twin, The Chomicle, is back. This is the best reporting we've done all year!
The campus consensus is clear: Join an illustrious firm or get your master’s degree trying. Before I knew it, I too joined in the corporate hustle.
At Nacho Bell, students will be able to purchase cheap tacos alongside other Mexican-adjacent menu items. When they inevitably get food poisoning from the ingredients intentionally sourced to keep prices down, clean-up materials will be available next door at the Bro Wipes store.
To increase viewership and salvage the Academy’s feelings, the Oskars turned to March Madness for inspiration.
Students who participated in a special second lottery for the chance to win free tickets to the NCAA National Championship game in San Antonio instead received the chance to purchase tickets to Six Flaggs Fiesta Texas at a 10% discounted group rate.
The former low-effort recreational activity will now become the University’s 28th varsity sport, giving Duke’s nepo babies another opportunity to wear a Nike backpack while mowing down unsuspecting first-years on scooters across campus.
Horrifyingly, the change affects not only future posts, but all content that has ever been uploaded to the apps — meaning everything you’ve ever posted is now attached to your name, forever.
Lemur has been celebrated in recent months for his impressive commitment to productive discussion with those who hold opposing views after the release of his song “Just Like Us,” described by Lemur as a call to action for listeners to be more “empathetic” and “forgiving.”
In a very much expected turn of events, on April 1, the NCAA acknowledged yet another moment of colossal ineptitude against Duke, this time for its decision to grant the award to Louisville head coach Patty-cakes Kelce.
The 136-page paperback book covers every milestone during Coach K’s career.
The Blue Devils could not contain the Hurricane backcourt of Angel Rodriguez and Sheldon McClellan, who combined for 34 points and 14 assists as Miami made its last eight shots. With the loss, Duke is likely to fall out of the AP top 25 next week for the first time since 2007.
Duke is looking for revenge after turnovers cost the Blue Devils in a 51-50 loss to South Carolina in Durham last season as Azurá Stevens takes on her Team USA U19 head coach Dawn Staley.
