What do you do if your assertiveness and confidence aren't helping you influence others in the workplace?

1 Reflect First

Before adjusting your approach, take time to reflect on your current methods. Are you truly being assertive, or could your behavior be perceived as aggressive? Assertiveness means expressing your thoughts and needs respectfully and clearly, while aggression can alienate others. Confidence is important, but overconfidence can come across as arrogance. Self-reflection is a critical first step; it allows you to assess whether you need to recalibrate your communication style to be more effective.

2 Listen More

Listening is a powerful tool in business communications. If assertiveness and confidence aren't yielding the desired results, shift your focus to listening. This doesn't mean being passive; it's about actively engaging with others' ideas and showing genuine interest in their perspectives. By doing so, you build trust and rapport, which can significantly increase your influence. People are more likely to be receptive to someone who values their input.

3 Adapt Style

Adapting your communication style to suit different personalities and situations is essential. Some colleagues may respond better to a softer approach, while others might appreciate directness. Pay attention to nonverbal cues and feedback to gauge how your message is being received. Flexibility in your communication style doesn't mean compromising your assertiveness or confidence; it's about finding the most effective way to connect with others.

4 Seek Feedback

Gathering feedback is crucial for understanding how others perceive your assertiveness and confidence. Approach a trusted colleague or mentor and ask for an honest assessment of your communication style. Constructive criticism can be invaluable in highlighting areas for improvement. Embrace this feedback and use it as a guide to refine your approach, ensuring that your assertiveness is both effective and well-received.

5 Collaborate More

Consider increasing collaboration with your colleagues. Working closely with others on projects can showcase your assertiveness and confidence in action, leading by example rather than just through words. Collaboration also helps to establish common ground and shared goals, making it easier to influence the direction of the work. When people see the positive outcomes of your approach, they may be more inclined to support your ideas.

6 Personal Development

Finally, invest in personal development to enhance your communication skills. This might involve training, reading, or even role-playing exercises. Developing a deeper understanding of emotional intelligence, for example, can improve how you read a room and adjust your approach accordingly. Continuous learning shows a commitment to improving not just for your benefit but for the betterment of the team and organization.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?