Lynda Edwards’ Post

“I want to go home.” It’s not uncommon for someone living with dementia to say that they want to go home, however it can be distressing, both for the person with dementia and their carers. It can be hard to know what to say, which is why we wanted to share a few things to keep in mind when this happens. It’s usually best not to try to reason or disagree with the person about where their home is, or to tell them that they’re already home. Instead, listen to them, and try to acknowledge and understand their feelings. For the person with dementia, it’s likely that the term ‘home’ describes more than the place they currently live. It may represent memories of a happier time when they felt comfortable and secure. It can be helpful to reassure them that they are safe and cared about where they are now. You can also ask them about their home – where is it, and what is it like? You may be able to use this approach to divert the conversation to a different topic – for example, by asking about any loved ones they mention. You can also try talking about a new subject like food or music, or an activity like going for a walk or looking through a photo album. By encouraging them to talk about why they were happy in their home, you might also be able to work out what they need to feel more comfortable. If they seem unhappy, try to figure out why. Anxiety can be caused by discomfort, so it can be helpful to run through a mental checklist - could they be hungry, thirsty, too warm or too cold? And finally, it can help to keep a log of when they ask this question. Certain times of the day might be worse than others, and if it happens later in the day it could be due to ‘sundowning’. If you see a pattern, you can take steps to lessen or avoid some of the triggers. For more support and advice, call the Dementia Support Line on 0333 150 3456.