DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Here’s how I fell off the Ferris wheel of love. I rode quickly to the top of it last summer with my new guy. We loved getting to know each other and learning how to please each other, making love every night. Plus, I thought I was helping him heal his wounds from a recent breakup he said was hard on him.

I had never been so happy with a guy. I thought it was turning into a lasting relationship for us, but after our wonderful summer, I got a terrible shock. His old girlfriend moved back to the city and started calling him, as if they were still together. Then I found out what was really going on and where she lived — with my boyfriend’s grandmother.

I lost it and yelled at him. I wanted to know why she would be there, of all places.

He said she’d found out she was pregnant with their child, and my boyfriend’s family took her in. I hit the roof. Suddenly nothing good was happening between us and I broke up with him. What a terrible situation.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My youngest brother was supposed to be born on March 31 but didn’t show up until April 1 — April Fool’s Day! So, my parents nicknamed him “Our Little Foolie.”

Foolie is still his at-home nickname, but now he’s 11 and he’s mad about it. So, he’s decided everybody should get a nickname now. He came up with “Stinky” as a nickname for me, because I don’t wear deodorant at home. And “Shorty” is going to be our oldest brother’s nickname, because he’s never going to be over five-foot-six.

Yesterday our mother decreed an end to all nicknames, before Foolie goes into junior high school. I’m mad. I think our parents should let us kids deal with our own name problems! What do you think?

— “Stinky” No More, southern Manitoba

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My ex-boyfriend has just shown back up in Winnipeg and phoned me from his cousin’s house because she was the only one who would give him a bed.

He told me, bitterly, he has to stay in her basement where it’s cold. Boo hoo. This is the jerk who was cheating on me most of our relationship and passed on an STI to me and to another woman I know.

I think he got away with that because he is very good looking and women keep saying “yes” to him, I’ll bet, until they get their test results back.

Last night he came over to my place in a taxi and buzzed me, but I wouldn’t let him in. I yelled out the window for him to go away.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife and I are living a sham of a marriage and we haven’t had sex in seven years. We’ve been staying together as friends mostly for our only daughter’s sake.

Last week my daughter, 19, asked me out for dinner — her treat. I knew something was up. I was happy her mother wasn’t coming, as I enjoy having time alone with my daughter away from her mom’s constant yapping and interference.

I asked her to pick a restaurant and we arrived in separate cars.

During dinner she was talking very nervously, so over dessert, I asked her what was up.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I love dogs and I’m really into canine care, training and their health. I love hanging out with them. We understand each other. I’m not a big talker with people, but I really enjoy being with my dogs at home, on walks or teaching them tricks and I also watch a lot of dog videos online. I’m not looking to be a veterinarian and I don’t know if I want to be a vet nurse either, but I do know I really want to work with dogs.

I’m not going to be happy as a regular nurse (which my mother is pushing). Do you have suggestions for me? I’m a person who doesn’t want to learn just by reading books. I like and need action and I enjoy working both indoors and outdoors.

— Dog Lover Needing a Career, Winnipeg

Dear Dog Lover: You might check things out by getting a part-time job at a vet’s office to help you get acquainted with other jobs there. By the end of the summer, by watching and assisting, you might know what you want as a career.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m going right up the wall. I just found out my ex-husband is moving back onto our old street where I still live. He’ll be about two minutes away from the house we bought together when we got married.

I got our home in the divorce settlement and our kids and I still live in it. Why did he do this?

It’s like a small town around here and everybody is already talking. This morning I heard people were betting on whether we’ll be getting back together

The kids, I must admit, are thrilled. Now daddy can pick them up from school more often, they can stay at his place for more overnights and they even like his new girlfriend.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m too old at 47, to be in a complicated mess like this. My wife suggested an open-marriage deal when our sex life went dry nine years ago. Rather than breaking up, I went for the deal because of our four kids. I couldn’t stand to live away from them.

My wife and I had become better friends than lovers, anyway. The kids were the joys of our lives and we didn’t want to hurt them for anything. We just weren’t attracted to each other sexually anymore, so we ended up having our own bedrooms — and whatever private situations we could find online and keep private from each other.

But now, my wife suddenly has a guy she wants to see openly, which leaves me with no choice but to leave our home. I’m afraid the kids are going to be so messed up.

I don’t know what to do. Please suggest something.