Marriage Advice Quotes

“Certainly the most destructive vice if you like, that a person can have. More than pride, which is supposedly the number one of the cardinal sins - is self pity. Self pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It is, to slightly paraphrase what Wilde said about hatred, and I think actually hatred's a subset of self pity and not the other way around - ' It destroys everything around it, except itself '.

Self pity will destroy relationships, it'll destroy anything that's good, it will fulfill all the prophecies it makes and leave only itself. And it's so simple to imagine that one is hard done by, and that things are unfair, and that one is underappreciated, and that if only one had had a chance at this, only one had had a chance at that, things would have gone better, you would be happier if only this, that one is unlucky. All those things. And some of them may well even be true. But, to pity oneself as a result of them is to do oneself an enormous disservice.

I think it's one of things we find unattractive about the american culture, a culture which I find mostly, extremely attractive, and I like americans and I love being in america. But, just occasionally there will be some example of the absolutely ravening self pity that they are capable of, and you see it in their talk shows. It's an appalling spectacle, and it's so self destructive. I almost once wanted to publish a self help book saying 'How To Be Happy by Stephen Fry : Guaranteed success'. And people buy this huge book and it's all blank pages, and the first page would just say - ' Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself - And you will be happy '. Use the rest of the book to write down your interesting thoughts and drawings, and that's what the book would be, and it would be true. And it sounds like 'Oh that's so simple', because it's not simple to stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's bloody hard. Because we do feel sorry for ourselves, it's what Genesis is all about.”
― Stephen Fry

“Love without sacrifice is like theft”
― Nassim Nicholas Taleb, The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms

“For [erotically intelligent couples], love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life: time. Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the beginning. They know that they have years in which to deepen their connection, to experiment, to regress, and even to fail. They see their relationship as something alive and ongoing, not a fait accompli. It’s a story that they are writing together, one with many chapters, and neither partner knows how it will end. There’s always a place they haven’t gone yet, always something about the other still to be discovered.”
― Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic

“If you want to marry me, here's what you'll have to do:
You must learn how to make a perfect chicken-dumpling stew.
And you must sew my holey socks,
And soothe my troubled mind,
And develop the knack for scratching my back,
And keep my shoes spotlessly shined.
And while I rest you must rake up the leaves,
And when it is hailing and snowing
You must shovel the walk...and be still when I talk,
And-hey-where are you going?”
― Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

“(Regarding Marriage) Both people need to care deeply about the other person, to put the other’s needs before their own, and to make a daily commitment to that person to stick it out.”
― Alessandra Torre, Blindfolded Innocence

“Grow up, Bailey."

"That is precisely what I'm doing," Bailey says. "I don't care if you don't understand that. Staying here won't make me happy. It will make you happy because you're insipid and boring, and an insipid, boring life is enough for you. It's not enough for me. It will never be enough for me. So I'm leaving. Do me a favor and marry someone who will take decent care of the sheep.”
― Erin Morgenstern, The Night Circus

“Love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life: time. Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the beginning.”
― Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic

“When you give each other everything, it becomes an even trade. Each wins all.”
― Lois McMaster Bujold, A Civil Campaign

“Compromise, communicate, and never go to bed angry - the three pieces of advice gifted and regifted to all newlyweds.”
― Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

“A man wants too many things before marriage, but only peace after it.”
― Pawan Mishra, Coinman: An Untold Conspiracy

“. . . children should draw [a husband & wife] nearer than ever, not separate you, as if they were all yours, and [your husband] had nothing to do but support them. . . . don't neglect husaband for children, don't shut him out of the nursery, but teach him how to help in it. His place is there as well as yours, and the children need him; let him feel that he has his part to do, and he will do it gladly and faithfully, and it will be better for you all. . . . That is the secret of our home happiness: he does not let business wean him from the little cares and duties that affect us all, and I try not to let domestic worries destroy my interest in his pursuits. Each do our part alone in many things, but at home we work together, always. . . . no time is so beautiful and precious to parents as the first years of the little lives given them to train. Don't let [your husband] be a stranger to the babies, for they will do more to keep him safe and happy in this world of trial and temptation than anything else, and through them you will learn to know and love one another as you should.”
― Louisa May Alcott, Good Wives. Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy: Being a Sequel to 'Little Women'. With Illustrations by Jessie T. Mitchell

“You'll never experience the joy and tenderness of a lifelong love unless you fight for it.”
― Chris Fabry, A Marriage Carol

“Never marry a person who is not a friend of your excitement.”
― Nathaniel Branden, The Psychology of Romantic Love

“When your wife asks you for your opinion, she doesn't really want your opinion. She wants her opinion - just in a deeper voice.”
― T. Rafael Cimino, The Heir Apparent

“Most of a husband’s life is spent in doing research on his wife.”
― Pawan Mishra, Coinman: An Untold Conspiracy

“Marriage is not kick-boxing, it's salsa dancing.”
― Amit Kalantri

“You may forsake a person, a family, some location of the heart, but scars and memories cannot be discarded like used clothing.”
― Chris Fabry, A Marriage Carol

“A fulfilling long-term relationship is not accomplished by just finding the one. It is rather a co-operation between two passionate and highly motivated partners working together, figuring out every single situation holding hands. If there is trust at the root of the relationship, if the partners make an effort to keep it interesting, if difficulties are handled tactfully and if you can appreciate every single deed of your partner no matter how insignificant it is, the flames of love would never burn out and your love can truly live happily ever after.”
― Abhijit Naskar, The Art of Neuroscience in Everything

“You need to play to your strengths as a couple. Sharing is really awesome when you're messing around with Play-Doh in kindergarten. It's less awesome when you're adults and one of you is good at something and the other person sucks at it. So just let the more skilled person take the reins.”
― Peter Scott, There's a Spouse in My House: A Humorous Journey Through the First Years of Marriage

“Don't be in a hurry. Everything arise in the due time.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!

“Douglas Ainslie: Look. Can you hear yourself? Can you? Do you have any idea what a terrible person you have become? All you give out is this endless negativity, a refusal to see any kind of light and joy, even when it's staring you in the face, and a desperate need to squash any sign of happiness in me or... or... or... anyone else. It's a wonder that I don't fling myself at the first kind word or gesture that comes my way, but I don't, ou... ou... ou... out of some sense of dried-up loyalty and respect, neither of which I ever bloody get in return.
Jean, his wife: [long pause] I checked my emails. There's one from Laura.”
― Deborah Moggach, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

“Miss Grantham ordered me to my room and told me no man would ever wish to marry me if I did not learn to behave like a lady. But Miss Grantham always behaves like a lady, and no man has ever wished to marry her, either, so if it really makes no difference in the end, I don’t see why I shouldn’t at least have fun!”
― Sheri Cobb South, A Dead Bore

“You want to know the secret to raising good kids?”
“What’s that? asked Thomas.
“High expectations.”
Thomas laughed. “Alright, well what’s the secret to a happy marriage?”
Clyde smiled back, but his face started to fall, and he chose his words carefully. “… Low expectations.”
― Chris Nicolaisen, The Life and Death of the Ericsons

“Someone once said that marriage is like standing in a corridor lined with doors. You go off through your door, he goes through his, but at the end of the day you have to come back to the corridor, touch base, hold hands, because through every door are more doors, and beyond them, more again, and if you both go through too many without coming back to the corridor, you may never find your way back.”
― Carrie Adams, The Godmother

“Things can get good again. Even things like a marriage.”
― Suzanne Woods Fisher, A Lancaster County Christmas

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“Nothing we have seen kills a marriage faster than entitlement.”
― Shelia Wray Gregoire

“But let me advise you to think better of it.

I know your disposition, Lizzy.

I know that you could be neither happy nor respectable, unless you truly esteemed your husband; unless you looked up to him as a superior.

Your lively talents would place you in the greatest danger in an unequal marriage. You could scarcely escape discredit and misery.

My child, let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life.”
― Jane Austen