Old People Quotes

“Never tease an old dog; he might have one bite left.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

“Why is it, I wondered, that old people are always so self-centered and excitable? But I just smiled benignly and stood back, comforted by the thought that soon they would be dead.”
― Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-Town America

“The land of easy mathematics where he who works adds up and he who retires subtracts.”
― Núria Añó

“The good thing about being old is not being young.”
― Stephen Richards

“Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”
― Robert Orben

“Old people have wisdom but not energy; young people have energy but not wisdom; energy and wisdom must be in the same body to create a much better civilisation! To do this, we will either give energy to the old or we will give wisdom to the young and for now the latter seems a more plausible action!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

“Mr. Landowsky was eighty-two and somehow his chest had shrunk over the years, and now he was forced to hike his pants up under his armpits.

"Oi," he said. "This heat! I can't breathe. Somebody should do something."

I assumed he was talking about God.

"That weatherman on the morning news. He should be shot. How can I go out in weather like this? And then when it gets so hot they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs."

I was glad I owned a gun, because when I got as old as Mr. Landowsky I was going to eat a bullet. The first time I got the runs in the supermarket, that was it. BANG! It would all be over.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“هم يضحكون: الكبير(العجوز) مثل الصغير، ويقصدون بذلك أن أحدهما فقد عقله، أما الثاني لم يمتلكه بعد. هذا صحيح، الكبير والصغير هما فقط القادران بحساسية وحدة أن يُدهَشا لوجودهما، ولكل ما يحيط بهما في كل خطوة.”
― Valentin Rasputin, المهلة الأخيرة

“The old and the dead are the most rewarding people to idolize, because they know things that we don't.”
― Madeleine Ryan, A Room Called Earth

“That's the funny thing about old people: they never seem in a hurry. I think old people have figured out that being five minutes late really doesn't matter much.”
― Shannon Wiersbitzky, What Flowers Remember

“You know how old people lose all shame about eating, and it makes you puke to watch them? Old junkies are the same about junk. They gibber and squeal at sight of it. The spit hangs off their chin, and their stomach rumbles and all their guts grind in peristalsis while they cook up, dissolving the body’s decent skin, you expect any moment a great blob of protoplasm will flop right out and surround the junk. Really disgust you to see it. 'Well, my boys will be like that one day,' I thought philosophically. 'Isn’t life peculiar?”
― William S. Burroughs, Naked Lunch: The Restored Text

“BARBARIC!”
― Robert Byrd

“How did I get to be this old and still have to put up with so much crap?”
― T.W. Lawless, Furey's War

“You can't hate old people, because if you are not an old person, you will become an old person, or die while trying to do so.”
― Lemony Snicket, Poison for Breakfast

“BABARIC!”
― Robert Byrd

“I'm afraid of old people. They are what I will one day be.”
― Manuel Vilas, Ordesa

“The young people think that the old people are fools, but the old people KNOW the young people are fools.”
― Agatha Christie

“At old age, one realizes that life is truly a dream.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson, The Oneironaut’s Diary

“They brought the first guy back and the two old hippies sat side by side, seemingly wary of each other. She felt that each, in his mind, was making the case for being the more intelligent and authentic washed-up former hippie.”
― George Saunders, Liberation Day

“If the list of things you can do when you're young hasn't changed much with age, then you've aged really well, congratulations!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

“The Familiar Squatter by Stewart Stafford

Stranger at a ranting roundabout,
Changeling deep in a cranial fog,
An infant brooked with abandon,
The frail bitterness fumed within.

Another dawn, the lid loosens more,
Recognition dims, pleading for hints,
Let me see my reflection in full now,
Squatter with a thousand-yard stare.

A planet downsized to an asteroid belt,
Leave, and I surrender to disintegrate,
Core melts inside this atrophying shell,
Beyond repair, a journey of light ahead.

© Stewart Stafford, 2023. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“- Jag tror att han vill ta min hatt.
- Nej, nej han vill servera oss mat. Han vill inte ta din hatt.
- Om han rör min hatt kommer jag att slå honom.”
― Emma Hamberg, Au revoir Agneta

“On his good days, he tried to teach me everything he knew."

"What about his bad days?"

"On his bad days, he generally thought he was an onion."

"That's awful."

"No, it's not. What was awful was when he thought he was a potato masher."

"Oh.”
― Sage Blackwood, Jinx's Magic

“That's the only one left. That nice old wizard who used to live there---"

"Egbert the Onion?"

"Even when he thought he was an onion, he was a very kind onion," said Sophie.”
― Sage Blackwood, Jinx's Magic

“Growing old with me is not possible, but you can grow strong with me.”
― P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar

“The beauty of the elderly is the glory of their wisdom.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita

“Old people are attached to many irrelevant things because the relevant things don't value them.”
― Amit Abraham

“I am not disappointed
by my old age.
There are still
stories to tell,
paths to walk,
and fire within
that refuses
to diminish.”
― Bhuwan Thapaliya

“A comfortable old age without health is poverty.”
― Tamerlan Kuzgov

“Just because you're old doesn't mean you've matured.”
― Tamerlan Kuzgov