The Best We Could Do Quotes

“Maybe being their child simply means that I will always feel the weight of their past.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“Proximity and closeness are not the same.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“To understand how my father became the way he was, I had to learn what happened to him as a little boy. It took a long time to learn the right questions to ask.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“Má leaves me but I'm not alone, and a terrifying thought creeps into my head. Family is now something I have created and not just something I was born into.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“How much of ME is my own and how much is stamped into my blood and bone, predestined?”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“This - not any particular piece of Vietnamese culture - is my inheritance: the inexplicable need and extraordinary ability to run when the shit hits the fan. My refugee reflex.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“Every casualty in war is someone's grandmother, grandfather, mother, father, brother, sister, child, lover.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“Have our parents ever looked at us and felt slightly… disappointed? Such high hopes, so much possibility, to fall short. And though my parents took us far away from the site of their grief… certain shadows stretched far, casting a gray stillness over our childhood… hinting at a darkness we did not understand but could always FEEL.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“I remember being excited about seeing snow for the very first time.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“How did we get to such a lonely place? We live so close to each other and yet feel so far apart. I keep looking toward the past…tracing our journey in reverse…over the ocean through the war, seeking an origin story that will set everything right.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“In the dark apartment in San Diego, I grew up with the terrified boy who became my father.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“But maybe being their child simply means that I will always feel the weight of their past. Nothing that happened makes me special. But my life is a gift that is too great - a debt I can never repay.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“That first week of parenting was the hardest week of my life, and the only time I ever felt called upon to be HEROIC.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“Though my world was small, I would sometimes dream of being free in it.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“I imagined the lanes of car lights as two rivers - one going to heaven... ours to hell.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“We live so close to each other and yet feel so far apart.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“If I bridged the gap between past and the present... I could fill the void between my parents in me. And that if I could see Viet Nam as a real place, and not a symbol of something lost... I would see my parents as real people... and learn to love them better.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“I recognize what it is NOT, and now I understand - proximity and closeness are not the same”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“If I surrender I'm afraid I'll want a full retreat- to go all the way back. To be the baby and not the mother.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do

“Alone with my son and feeling COMPETENT about it for the first time, I relaxed and started to speak to him. ‘Child, it’s Mother.’ I could hear echoes of my mother’s voice speaking to me in my own childhood…but I could feel the voice coming from my own throat. As a child, I thought my mother’s voice was beautiful. She hated it, but I loved its raspiness. ‘We are about to go home.’ ‘We ARE going home.’ When my mother spoke to me, she spoke softly, the tones of Vietnamese giving it music- not high and reedy, but scratchy and bluesy. I always wished I had her voice.”
― Thi Bui, The Best We Could Do